Chapter 36 - A Letter to Gabriel
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That night, after the house was completely quiet and Samuel was fast asleep, I sat alone on the front porch swing. The spring air was warm and smelled of blooming jasmine.
I held a small, leather-bound journal in my lap. For the first time in five years, I didn't feel the desperate urge to cry when I thought about my late husband. I felt a deep, grounded desire to simply talk to him.
I opened the journal and began to write under the dim, yellow porch light.
Gabriel,
Your son heard the roar of your motorcycle today. He looked at the machine with the exact same wide-eyed, absolute awe that you used to have when you talked about fixing broken things. Leo brought it back to life for us. He is a good man, Gabriel. Kind and patient. I think you would have liked him.
I wish so desperately that you could see the incredible boy Samuel is becoming. He is fearless, just like you. But he is also incredibly gentle. He builds forts to protect his grandfather, and he always makes sure to save the biggest strawberry for me.
You were right about my father. I was so incredibly stubborn, and I was so deeply afraid of his rejection. But he is the greatest grandfather in the world. He stood fiercely between the darkness and our family, and he never once backed down. You knew his heart better than I did.
I am not just surviving anymore, Gabriel. I am truly living. We built a foundation that protects women who are terrified and alone, just like I was. We are fighting the monsters, and we are actually winning.
May you like
I miss you. I will always miss you. The shape of my life will forever bear the imprint of your love. But I am finally okay. We are safe. You can rest now, my love. We are going to be completely okay.
I closed the journal, took a deep breath, and watched the fireflies begin to dance across the dark lawn.
