Chapter 3 - Breath of Life
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The emergency C-section was a blur of bright overhead lights, cold stainless steel, and the metallic tang of blood. Because of the trauma and the burns covering my upper torso, the anesthesiologist had to administer a spinal block while nurses held me perfectly still.
I couldn't feel my lower body, but the fiery agony in my neck and face burned right through the medicine.
"Pushing through," the surgeon muttered. "Fetal heart rate is at eighty. Seventy-five. Give me suction now!"
I squeezed my eyes shut, praying with every remaining shred of my soul. Take my skin. Take my body. Just let her live. Dad, if you're listening up there, protect her.
A sharp, wet cry broke through the chaotic silence of the operating room.
It was small, thin, and fragile, like the chirp of a fallen songbird.
"Female infant," the pediatrician called out. "Born at thirty-two weeks. Weight is four pounds, one ounce. Get her to the NICU team immediately!"
They held her up for a split second before rushing her toward the incubator. I caught a glimpse of a tiny, reddish hand reaching out into the cold air before she was wheeled away behind double glass doors.
Hours later, I was transferred to the specialized burn unit. My right shoulder, neck, and lower jaw were wrapped tightly in heavy antibacterial dressings.
Julian spent the next three days sitting in the vinyl armchair beside my hospital bed. Whenever a nurse entered the room to adjust my IV drip, he would leap to his feet, wrap his warm fingers gently around my uninjured hand, and wipe a fake tear from his eye.
“My poor, sweet wife,” he would whisper softly for the benefit of the medical staff. “You're so strong, sweetheart. I'm right here. I'm never leaving you.”
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The moment the nurse closed the door behind her, Julian’s hand would drop my fingers as if touching a corpse. He would pull out his phone, scroll through property listings, and glare at me with cold, bitter malice.
I stayed completely silent. I didn't scream at him. I didn't confront him. I feigned exhaustion and kept my eyes closed, waiting.
